2015: The Year of the Goat

Reader Contribution by Julia Shewchuck

The Year of The Goat

Every goat owner, lover, enthusiast of course already knows and had proudly announced to all family and friends that 2015 is the year of the Goat. It is actually also known as the year of the sheep, but of course as goat owners we completely disregard that fact and have no shame about it. Sorry sheep owners, even though I do sheepishly admit that I think sheep are cute, but I do love my goats. 

It will be the year of the Wooden Goat. The Goat is the eighth sign of the 12-year cycle of animals that appear in the Chinese zodiac which is related to the Chinese calendar. I thought it would be fun to compare the description of wood goat people to actual characteristics of goats. And here is what I found. No animals or humans have come to harm during my research by the way.

Goat People and Goats: A Biased Comparison of Character Traits

Goat people enjoy being in the middle of a group, consequently, other flock to these goats, possibly because they are so compassionate and helpful.

Goats do enjoy being in a group, eating in a group, pooping and sleeping in a group. Ever waited for a goat to poop so you could take a sample? You will finish reading the Lord of The Rings while you wait for one to poop and then all will go at once. Squat, pee, tail up, poo. Goats sleep in a pile and snore together. When we have a new intern, we always have to point out that this ominous sound from the back of the pen is not an emergency, just a Nubian Goat snoring. Goats are very compassionate unless they defend their teats from someone else’s kid or their grain from the goat on the next milking stand or their status in the herd. Not so compassionate either when they see a person coming with a syringe full of wormer or other icky pink liquid. Not so helpful either when the human attempts to single out one goat for treatment in which case the group decides to run off in a group. See group behavior. Our big bucks on the other hand, always adopt the little bucklings when they are first weaned and cuddle and protect them.

Goat People’s sincerity can be taken advantage of and Wood Goat People may get their feelings hurt by undeserving sympathy seekers.

Goats certainly can get their feelings hurt when a person attempts to trim their feet, drenches them with something unpleasant tasting or drags them away from the savory rosebush, in short does anything that is not in the goat’s immediate interest. Observed behavior consists of turning their head away and up in an angle especially when the contrite person attempts to kiss them to make up. Another favorite display of being hurt is peeing on the offending person’s shoes. Preferably when wearing sandals or white socks. A graceful goat hoof firmly planted on the soft spot of the offending person’s foot also works wonders to alleviate a goat’s hurt feelings. Ever tried to move a 200 pound goat which didn’t want to move while standing on one foot while seeing stars? Not possible. Only copulent amounts of goat treats and a lengthy brushing will restore the person back in the goat’s good graces.

Sometimes, Wood Goat people need to suppress their caring ways and take care of themselves.

Goats have no problems with this one. Goats are number one and they know it and their humans better know it too.

Likely Vocations for Goats

Their caring and artistic qualities mean that goats make excellent actors, designers, florists, hairdressers, musicians and teachers.

This is a good one and any goat owner will agree that these occupations are spot on for goats:

Awesome actors:

Nubians are definitely the divas and actors of the bunch – vocal, demanding and dramatic. More than once have our Saanens rolled their eyes, and jumped off the milking stand only to push petulant Nubians onto their stands so the milking (and grain) could begin. Nubians in heat will alert the whole neighborhood with their sorrowful stance at the fence facing the bucks and yelling at the top of their lungs: “Boooooooooooooyz”. 72 hours straight.

Fabulous Florists:

Any goat has an instinctive feel for rearranging any lovely flowering bush into a jungle of bare sticks in no time. They favor expensive and treasured plants such as roses, herbs, and almost intuitively know to trim the most prized possessions for their owners.

Happy Hairdressers:

Many a goat owner is sporting a slightly asymmetrical haircut designed by their goats. Most everyone’s hair has been decoratively trimmed on several occasions by goat kids sneaking up from behind and chewing enthusiastically on a golden lock. If lucky, one escapes with a wad of chewed up hair smelling like cud (which smells very much like chicken poop), not so lucky, the hair is just gone. On occasion a goat will show her disapproval (see diva) by pulling on a ponytail from behind, often with such a force to whack one’s head backwards.

Goats Show These Likes and Aversions

Color Preference: Cerise, mauve and pink.

Cerise, mauve and pink are all various shades of pink and roses are various shade of pink, so that’s a definite yes. Also the lighter the color, the more preference to be near that color is shown by the goat, regardless of age and sex. The reason of course is, that the lighter the color, the more eager the goats are to be climbing and slobbering all over you.

Gems and Stones: Jade, Moonstone and Sapphire.

Goats definitely show a preference for bling. The shinier the better and the easier to pull out of a person’s ears or from their neck, the better. Upon successful removal by the goat, any bling will promptly be trampled into the sandy ground, the more expensive the bling the deeper it will be hidden.

Leisure Activities: Reading, swimming, going to the theatre, eating and drinking.

Goats’ leisure activities can be grouped this way: eating, peeing, pooping, drinking, sleeping and chewing cud. They are the theater and they hate water.

Goats’ Dislikes: Being away from their family and friends. They dislike arguments or conflict.

Goats do not like to be away from their herd mates. The further away the more vocal a goat will be (see diva and disapproval). Goats should not be alone, they will get depressed or destructive. I have never met a goat however who will try to avoid an argument or conflict. Goats will happily argue and head-butt over the best spot at the feeder, the first to come into the milking parlor, the first to be brushed, to show their disapproval and of course to put their human in place.

One last note. In the Chinese calendar, I am a pig. The pig belongs in the same Chinese zodiac aspect as the goat which makes our relationship special because together we strive for beauty and a philosophical and intellectual approach to life. I never had a choice, I was destined to be owned by goats.

Yours truly,
Miss Piggy Goat Mother
Serenity Farm

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