How I Found the Meaning of Life, Alone, in a Strawberry Patch

Reader Contribution by Cam Mather
Published on July 31, 2012

Many people spend their whole life in
search of meaning and substance. They want answers to the big questions
like, “Is this all there is?” and “What’s it all about?” and “Is this
what I’m destined to do?” Some people try and achieve it through
meditation. Some use religion. Some hope people like Oprah will shed
some light and others try and make their own reality.

When I was
living in suburbia I belonged to a badminton club. One of the other
players, Brian, was quite a bit younger than me and was always a
formidable opponent.  One day his secretary found him with his head down
on his desk at work and a few days later he succumbed to a brain
aneurysm. Another friend of ours died of cancer and then one of
Michelle’s cousins was killed instantly in a car crash. We had been
thinking about moving to the woods for some time, but these events
really put life into perspective and gave us a huge kick in the butt to
get out of dodge and start living where and how we wanted. They also
impacted my quest to find meaning and relevance in my life.

Then
in the last few years Michelle had her brush with cancer and my
childhood friend Teddy King died. This really ramped up my quest. There
was a new urgency.

Part of the result of my search for meaning was
our decision this summer to run a CSA. We knew we could not make much
money selling our vegetables, but that wasn’t what the decision was
based on. It was based on doing something of relevance. Something that
mattered. Something that was in keeping with our personal belief in the
need for radical re-localization. From my perspective it was a great
opportunity to figure out just how much food I could produce from the
acre of land that is currently under cultivation.

So began
Sunflower Farm CSA. And now each week we prepare 12 boxes of healthy
organic food for our members. A humble beginning, but pretty great
none-the-less.

The work involved is mind-boggling. You know those
people you hear about, the ones who run a marathon every day for months.
Well, it turns out that running a CSA is just like that. Every day
there is an infinite amount of work and a finite number of hours. So I
go from dawn to dusk and that makes for a long day. I always account for
part of my elevated mental state to exhaustion. But it’s a good
exhaustion. It’s not like the stress from that catalog that was printed
with the wrong part number; it’s just good old-fashioned “worked too
hard” exhaustion.

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