To get rid of crows, feed them whiskey-soaked corn.
If crows are proving to be a special nuisance for you, the Farmer’s Almanac for 1864 had this advice: “Soak a few quarts of dried corn in whiskey, and scatter it over the fields for the crows. After partaking one such meal and getting pretty thoroughly corned, they will never return to it again.”
I would use the brand of corn whiskey called Rebel Yell. It seems to fit the remedy and evoke some of the sounds I now associate with the birds at the height of their raucous inebriation. Incidentally, it works.