American Humor: Evicting a Raccoon in the Attic

The last laugh column shares MOTHER EARTH NEWS reader submitted American humor with other MOTHER readers. This tale follows the adventures of a homeowner evicting a raccoon in the attic.

| April/May 1997


"Sounds like you got a raccoon problem, sonny," he allowed. "Probably the same one that's been messing with my garbage cans. Let's trap that potlikker."


Last Laugh shares MOTHER EARTH NEWS reader submitted American humor with other readers. Joseph K. Novara shares his story of evicting a raccoon in the attic. 

Daddy, there's something scratching on my ceiling!" my seven-year-old daughter called from her bedroom.

I heard rodent-like digging and four-footed patter. Some kind of animal was in our attic. Squirrel, I figured, or maybe a raccoon. Since it was late, I took the easy way out and tapped the ceiling with a broom handle. We both listened to scurrying sounds toward the wall that the chimney ran through.

The next day I climbed on the roof to look for an entry point. The chimney was the only possibility. One of the three flues, I discovered, did not vent the furnace or fireplace. Instead it only went down about three feet and had a screened hole on the attic side.

The screen was torn, forming a critter revolving door. Well, I determined to fix that. I got pieces of wood, half bricks, and other debris to fill up the hole and block access to the vent without cutting off circulation to the attic.

Then I went to talk to my neighbor Kyle—92 years old, spry as a cricket and a voice like the late W .C. Fields.

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