Baseball Jokes and Brainteasers

Test your baseball trivia knowledge: can you identify the players in these jokes?


| July/August 1989



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"Remember Smoke Taylor? His pitching arm was so dangerous even the NRA wanted to license it."


ILLUSTRATION: MIKE SARDIS

Well sir, the Plumtree Crossing Cuspidors took the field the other day to warm up for a summer softball game. Ott Bartlett grabbed the mound. As he pegged a practice pitch to catcher Newt Blanchard, he said, "Remember Smoke Taylor? His pitching arm was so dangerous even the NRA wanted to license it."

Newt caught the horsehide, flipped it back and said, "One batter tried to argue about a sizzling strike Taylor threw. He said, 'Ump, that one sounded high.'"

"Yep," Ott Bartlett agreed, hurling again. "Some rookie once went to the plate against Smoke. There were two outs, so he asked his manager what to look for in that situation. 'Something white coming through,' was the reply."

Newt snagged that throw, and returned it with, "They say a batter in an evening game once stepped up to face Smoke and lit a match. 'Why'd you do that?' the catcher asked. 'Can't you see him good?' 'Sure,' the batter answered, 'I can see him. I just want to be sure he sees me!'"

Just then, young Billy Parsons stepped up to the plate to take a few swings.

"What about Wagon Tongue Malley?" said Ott, slabbing a slider towards the plate. "He's the only slugger I ever heard of who hit the ball over the Mickey Maris Fried Chicken sign."





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