American Humor: Mistakes in the Garden

The last laugh column shares MOTHER EARTH NEWS reader submitted regional American humor with other MOTHER readers.

| April/May 1996

Last Laugh shares MOTHER EARTH NEWS reader submitted American humor with other readers. 

American Humor and Mistakes in the Garden

Tales From the Plot 

Do not ever get the idea that you're the only horticulturist (besides me)
who has had goofy things happen in the garden. In fact, I recently
conducted an extremely informal survey among my friends, and the freak episodes and misfortunes just came ... piling in.

Juanita H., California—  

When we lived in Jackson (in the Sierra Nevada foothills), I planted a long row of red roses. Gorgeous! The deer loved them. In fact, they thought the roses were haute cuisine and acted accordingly. I got a lot of advice. "Spread hair on the bushes" was one of the gems. "Deer hate hair," I was told. I went to the barber shop and picked up two bags of the stuff. Spread it all over. The wind came up real strong that night and it resulted in the mother of all bad hair days. Neighbors knocked on my door, looking like badly groomed gorillas. They said: "For the love of God, don't use any more hair!" Fine, so I took another of my friend's suggestions and employed some ... well ... lion urine. That's right. You could have knocked me over with a can of Essence of Lion Urine when I actually saw the stuff for sale at a nursery. Six bucks. Sprayed it all over. Neighbors knocked on my door. They didn't say anything, but they looked funny because they were wearing clothespins on their noses. I then gave up. The roses disappeared but the deer hung around just in case I tried something else. I didn't.

Sally E. R., Montana—  

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