American Humor and the Almighty Dollar Bill

The last laugh column shares MOTHER EARTH NEWS Plumtree boys and reader submitted regional American humor with other MOTHER readers.

| May/June 1987

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    I'm sure you still recollect that the good fellas of the Plumtree Crossing General Assembly are touring America by railroad.
    ILLUSTRATION: MOTHER EARTH NEWS STAFF

  • 105-128-01i1

Last Laugh shares MOTHER EARTH NEWS reader submitted American humor with other readers. 

Save up your money, pile up your rocks and you'll always have tobacco in the old tobacco box.
—Vermont Proverb

Well sir, it's been a couple of months since you've had a chance to read this feature, but I'm sure you still recollect that the good fellas of the Plumtree Crossing General Assembly are touring America by railroad, and I know you remember that they're currently visiting Hiram Bartlett, Ott's cousin who lives up in northern Vermont, and there's no way you'd forget that, with the help of a jug of Purvis Jacob's liquid tongue loosener, Hiram's been regaling the boys by explaining why Vermonters are standoffish to outsiders.

Hiram finished that lecture just as a late spring snowstorm ("poor man's fertilizer," Hiram called it) began to cut loose. There didn't seem any point in getting up from the farmhouse woodstove. To pass the time, Ott spoke up. "Hiram," he said, "you may not come from friendly stock, but leastways you seem to be getting on right well. I notice you're able to pay a hired hand."



"He don't get paid," Hiram retorted. "He's just working for me till his back pay amounts to the worth of the place. Then I'll go to work for him."

"Well, you got yourself a big mess of children. You must be making some money, or you couldn't afford to feed them all."






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