American Humor: Stories From Plumtree Crossing General Store

The Last Laugh shares MOTHER EARTH NEWS American humor with magazine readers, includes stories from Ott Bartlett and folks at the Plumtree Crossing General Store.

| September/October 1977

Enjoy MOTHER's American humor and folksy advice shared with magazine readers.

American Humor at It's Best

Well sir, this past summer was a real bear wrassler but it does appear that the worst of the heat is about over. Matter of fact it cooled off so rapid around here a few days ago that half the people in Barren County come down with the croup.

I reckon that's the reason-what with so many folks wheezin' and sneezin' and all-that the loafers down to the Plumtree Crossin' General Store last Saturday jumped to the conclusion the way they did that Ole Man Bartlett was havin' a seizure.

Can't say I blame 'em either . . . the way Ole Ott come a'staggerin' up the road all doubled over and purple in the face and a'gaspin' for breath and with the tears a'runnin' down his face. And then, as if that weren't bad enough, he give out with such a convulsion, as he fell down all sprawled out full-length across the liar's bench there to the side of the store, that he bit the stem of his favorite corncob pipe clean in two.

Well that set the boys off for fair. Doe Thromberg started tryin' to pry Ott's mouth open so's he couldn't swaller his tongue, Newt Blanchard commenced to thumpin' Ott on the back with a 2 by 4 that jest happened to be handy, and Skeeter Ridges come runnin' out of the store with a galvanized bucket of water, tripped over Cleedy McConnon's hound dog, and went skiddin' across the gravel on his face. It looked a little like "Abbott and Costello Meet the Keystone Kops" for a while there.

"Now jest a damn minnit!" It was Ott strugglin' to his feet and, for an 80-and-then-some-year-old, doin' a mighty credible job of upendin' the whole blamed pack of good Samaritans that he'd suddenly fell prey to. "Jest a damn minnit! "

mother earth news fair 2018 schedule


Next: April 28-29, 2018
Asheville, NC

Whether you want to learn how to grow and raise your own food, build your own root cellar, or create a green dream home, come out and learn everything you need to know — and then some!