Baylin's Gift - A Birth Story

| 4/19/2012 4:29:55 PM

BaylinToday I am 28 weeks pregnant, just entering my third trimester and expecting my third child in late July of this year. Two weeks ago today my first born turned six. Baylin’s birth story has never been written. He was born via C-section after many inductions, and failure to progress. I struggled for many years to make sense of the physical and emotional damage left from doctors who pushed labor on my body, and feeling ashamed for not educating and empowering myself on choices and options. Six years later, and over five years of being a birth doula and women centered birth advocate, I have come to a place of peace. I am now able to see his birth as a gift.

My plan for this blog is to document the rest of my pregnancy. To blog about my prenatal care from my amazing group of midwives, and let the readers follow along as I prepare for a homebirth. Before I can write about my pregnancy and other homebirth related topics, I need to write my birth stories for my first two children. Something I have never done.

I sat here staring at a blank screen for hours, trying to decide how I wanted to write this. How do I start a story that created a ripple effect for all I have done for the past six years?

I told Baylin I was going to write the story of how he was born. He asked if I would give it to him on his birthday. So I decided to write this story as a letter to him. Writing his story the way I want him to remember it. I sat down at the computer, and his birth story flowed from me.

Dear Baylin,
March 29th, six years ago, was your due date. The weather was starting to get warmer, and the trees started growing little buds. I enjoyed taking a walk everyday and letting the sun shine on my belly imagining you stretched out enjoying the warmth. I couldn’t wait to meet you. I day dreamed about holding you and nursing you.

The morning of April 4, 2006 , at 41 weeks pregnant, my water broke at home. I wasn’t having any contractions, and I didn't feel like I was in labor, but I didn’t feel very informed about what real labor was like so we decided to go to the hospital. On the drive over I was very excited and anxious to meet you. I was also feeling scared and worried if I would be able to handle contractions, or the pain of pushing. Birth looked so scary on t.v!  

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