I Want to Die

| 9/13/2013 12:06:00 PM

I want to die.

I am not miserable. I’m not even slightly depressed. I’m in no hurry, particularly, but I want to die. I want to die because I believe it is the superior alternative, in every way, to wanting NOT to die.

One of my goals is to make you want to die, too.

The sort of death I want will not be a defeat. I will not “succumb.” I will not “surrender.” I will die heroically, so that others may live. My individual light will fade. Millions of other lights will be ignited from the ember.

That’s the way life has always worked.

My death will be heroic, but not unique.

3/2/2016 12:07:39 AM

I was wondering Brian,Since your posting of this article in your blog ,has your feelings changed ? I don't even understand the reason you posted the article. Does this mean, you don't care about dying? Or you have just let the idea of it sink in and your just don't have any fear or worries about it? I really wanted to email you and chat with you personally but I have looked high and low for an email connection with no avail . I even went as far as to go to google to connect with you and still no email. I really don't understand your reluctance to have a email address available when you were the head of Mother Earth News and other organizations for many years and still are.Personally I am not sure what happen to Mother Earth Magazine. It is a far cry from what it used to be. I was one of the first people to subscribe to it many years ago. After years of enlightening articles and wonderful projects and etc.. then tiny magazine and not much of anything. I have years and years of the original magazines and still read them after all these years. Its great that at least I got to post here in your article to let you know that you have an old timer here, which still leads me back to the reason I posted here. I really don't understand the reason behind this post about dying nor does it seem finished. It just seems to fall off to nothing . It isn't complete and feels lacking. Is there anymore to the concept of not being afraid to die or that you want to die? Maybe I am dense but really don't understand what you are trying to say altogether. I know you have access to my email and if you would like to fill me in personally ,please do so. I would be really interested in finding out why you are ok with dying. There are so many people that are terrified of that subject. Take a look on the internet and see just how common it is that people are terrified. Maybe if you came out with just how you arrived at being ok with dying and shared it with all the billions of people that aren't ok with it, then it would help them ,instead of writing an incomplete article and expecting people to read between the lines.I respect you and mean no harm but still would like to know the details. I hope you see fit to email me with the answers.It would be greatly appreciated.

11/11/2013 7:15:00 PM

I don't want to die, I just don't want to live any longer. I don't want to kill myself, I just don't want to wake up any longer. But I keep waking up, so I have no other choice...

Bryan Welch
10/29/2013 1:41:34 PM

Amen, Vern, and thanks for the kind words and good suggestions, Epouna.

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