Do It! Brew It Yourself!

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Also round up a large funnel, a measuring cup, a bottle brush, a wooden spoon, and a five-gallon glass jug . . . the kind that's used in spring-water dispensers is fine. (Such jugs may be purchased either from a winemaking store or directly from a spring-water supply house.) If

you have hard or chemical-laden water, you may want to buy the spring water, too. It's said that soft, pure water makes a better beer, though I take mine right out of the tap with good results.

In addition to the above items, you'll need a snug-fitting rubber stopper with a hole in it and an “air trap" to fit into that hole. (An air trap is a little, water-filled device that prevents outside air from entering the jug, but allows the gas that forms inside to escape.) You can buy a commercial air trap, or you can rig up your own with a hose that slips tightly into the stopper's hole and then hangs down into a bottle of water. The latter arrangement is a little clumsy, but as long as the hose's loose end stays beneath the water's surface, it will keep your beer safe. (And—if this hose is at least five feet long—you can use it later to siphon the beer into bottles.)

THE ART OF BREWING

My painless brewing process involves just a few simple steps:

First, about 10 minutes before you're ready to mix your ingredients, put a cup or two of mildly warm water in a medium-sized bowl, stir in a teaspoon of sugar, then dump in one package of baker's yeast. (Don't use hot water, as it will kill the yeast.) This concoction will develop a foamy head and a murky color by the time you're ready to use it.

Next, immerse an unopened can of malt extract in heated water for several minutes (this will make the syrup easy to pour). Then, put a couple of gallons of hot water into your plastic container, pour in the malt extract, and stir the mixture with a wooden spoon. (The quantity of extract used depends on the amount of flavor you want in your beer. Try a whole can for your first batch ... if the flavor's too heavy, simply add less syrup the next time you brew.)

After the malt extract has dissolved, pour in the sugar. Five pounds (about 10 cups) per five gallons of beer will give you a brew that is approximately 10% alcohol. This "kick-a-poo brew" is pretty powerful, however. I generally use between 2 and 2-1/2 pounds (4 to 5 cups) of sugar in my mix, and it's still stronger than commercial beer . . . but not too potent to enjoy all evening long.

When the sugar and extract are thoroughly "wed" to the water, use a large funnel to pour the solution into the glass jug. Add a gallon or two of cold water, and then pour in the yeast soup. (You mustn't add the yeast before this point, or, again, the heat will kill it... and no fermentation will occur.)

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