Weasel in the Woodpile

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In search of the original better mousetrap.

by David Petersen

The seemingly innocuous little creature we call the weasel is an insatiable killer driven to murderous frenzy by a large parasite residing in its stomach. It sucks the blood of its victims, conceives through its mouth and gives birth through an ear, can squeeze itself through a wedding ring, and magically changes from brown to white within hours of the first snowfall each winter.

In my research I've run across each of those beliefs concerning the weasel—some several times—recorded as myth, legend, or scientific fact. Of course, there's not a word of truth to any of them . . . but lack of truth has seldom stopped people from believing what they will about the mysteries of life. And, because of its furtiveness, the weasel is a mystery.

That's why such a small creature holds such great interest for me. Even though two of the three North American weasel species live literally just beyond my door, the secretive little buggers continually frustrate my efforts to observe them in the wild for more than a few seconds at a time.

Others have better luck. The trick to weasel watching, a photographer friend tells me, is finding the rascals on their home turf. Near their dens, he says, they're not the least bit shy—so long as you do nothing to startle them. Once, my friend reports, an entire family of the little squirts approached to within just a few yards and cavorted for his camera.

I guess I've always been in the right places at the wrong times and the wrong places the rest of the time. Or maybe I'm just weasel jinxed. But I'll keep at it. And between treks to the woods, I'll keep learning what I can from more successful weasel watchers.

Weasels belong to the family of carnivores known to biologists as Mustelidae—a tax onomic moniker that translates crudely to "mouse stealers" and includes 64 species worldwide. North America's mustelids include weasels, badgers, skunks, otters, minks, wolverines, fishers, martens, and the critically endangered black-footed ferret. The smallest of the lot is the least weasel (imagine a svelte chipmunk), the largest is the sea otter (up to six feet tongue to tail), and the most powerful is the wolverine.

All mustelids have highly developed anal scent glands, from which they can emit a strong musk more or less on demand. Unlike the skunk, most lack the apparatus to spray their musk any distance; instead they use the noxious perfume to mark the boundaries of their territories and for close-range selfdefense.

With few exceptions, no matter where in North America you live, you're certain to have one or more of the continent's three weasel species—long-tailed, short-tailed, and least—as a secret neighbor. While each species has its distinctive physical and behavioral traits, the three are more alike than different. All can take prey much larger than themselves and strike with blurring speed. All can climb and swim but are primarily terrestrial, making their homes in woodpiles, under rocks or fallen logs, and in burrows appropriated from rodents who were literally eaten out of house and home.