The LAST THING you want to do

Article Tools

Image Gallery

Print

E-mail

Comments

RSS

Before the stock market began its current meltdown, the death rush went bust. SCI is on the rocks. Financial analysts chalk it up to overpayment for acquisi tions, but customers no doubt are also beginning to shy away from expensive services, especially of the last-minute, unplanned variety.

Consumer advocate Lisa Carlson, head of the Funeral Consumer's Alliance, suggests that an impromptu funeral is likely to cost much more than a planned event. "If you don't do your homework, it's like giving the funeral home a blank check," she warns. She points out that in the age of the internet, it's not difficult to research funeral options and costs on the web. Considering that funeral expenses average $6,000 in the United States, not including cemetery and monument costs (which bring the total up $8,000, according to the American association of Retired Persons), there's plenty of opportunity for savings.

So how exactly do you leave this world without being taken for a ride? Begin by asking yourself some basic questions. First, cremation or whole body burial? The funeral industry would prefer to put all of you 6 feet under because that's where the biggest profit lies. To bury a body usually involves treatment in a funeral home, often incurring hefty charges for cosmetology and embalming. Then there's the hearse, burial plot, headstone, and protective vault (to prevent the sod from collapsing on a rotting casket - sorry, in most cemeteries it's the law). Not to mention the coffin, which can cost thousands by itself, most of it in humongous funeral-home mark-ups. Throw in a memorial services, wake, and graveside ceremony, and we're talking real money. Oh, don't forget the flowers.

No wonder so many people are opting for cremation (25 percent now, and the number is rising dramatically). There's a new crematorium in my neighborhood that charges only $550, which includes pickup of the body and personal delivery of the remains. The young owner even throws in a composite granite urn, gratis. When local undertakers heard about this upstart, they tried to put him out of business for operating an unlicensed funeral home. He argued that he was simply operating a crematorium. Big difference, legally. The Vermont attorney general gave him a green light.

After reading about this no-frills rebel, I visited the crematorium (in an old coffin factory), checked out the retort (looks like a maple sap evaporator), and signed up. The average person requires about 40 pounds of gas to be cooked down to a five pound mound of gray ash. The ashes are scooped out of the oven into your choice of container: plain cardboard box, granite urn, or wooden cube, which costs extra.

RSS | Comments | E-mail | Print