They Garden Best Who Garden Least

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"Gee, Howard, that was a beautiful fan. He twisted his right wrist while swinging his body, which caused the manure to fan out evenly. He must have covered about 30 square feet with that one."

"Yes, it was a beauty, Don, and did you notice how he has the truck positioned three yards closer to the upwind side of the plot to take advantage of the wind?"

"I did, Howard. The wind is going to be a factor here today with the lighter manures, don't you think?"

"This may be won or lost on how well they can pitch into the wind."

Then I started thinking about how to make it a real contest with real commentators. Having a bit of Tom Sawyer in me, I thought, why not have regional competitions with the winners of the regionals going to the final at Common Ground. The first regional was held, you guessed it, in my field.

I devised four contests. Distance and accuracy, where a fork- or shovelful of manure is tossed as far down a line as possible with the distance from the line subtracted from the distance down the line. The basket pitch is for accuracy. A bushel basket of manure is weighed and then dumped in a wheelbarrow. The contestants pitch the manure back into the basket which is placed 10 feet away. The basket is weighed again and the person getting the most manure back into the basket is the winner. In the gardener's spread, the contestant spreads a wheelbarrow load of manure evenly over a measured plot. The farmer's spread is basically the same except it is a truck load of manure and the plot is much larger. Both the farmer's and gardener's spread were judged for evenness, neatness, and speed. Needless to say, I was most interested in the farmer's spread.

The fact is, it was a whole lot more work putting the event together than it would have been to spread the manure myself. The real payoff came for me at the farmer's spread at Common Ground the first year. Rounding up 20 trucks and getting them filled with manure was a logistical nightmare, but when the head judge shouted through the bullhorn, "Gentlemen, place your trucks," I got goose bumps.

I had disqualified myself from the contest so I was just watching and commenting, of course. The plots were too large to do the whole job from one spot. When all the trucks were placed just where the contestants wanted them and the contestants were poised in the back with their favorite implement in hand the starter's gun was fired.

What a glorious sight! Manure went flying in every direction from the backs of 20 trucks. I will probably never see the opening celebration of the Olympic Games live, which I'm sure is more impressive, but this will do in my memory.

Why is it named in honor of President Truman? A society lady in Washington once asked Mrs. Truman if she could get her husband to stop using the word "manure" in polite society. Bess replied that it had taken her some time to get him to use the word "manure."  

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