FAIRY TWO TALES

Image Gallery ILLUSTRATION BY BILL LESSNER

LAST LAUGH

"The Princess on the Pea"

by Christian Hans Anderson

WELL SIR, A SMOOTH-TALKING STORY-weaver, Jon Spelman, who surely lives up to his last name, once shared a couple of very entertaining fairy tales with us. Mind you, Jon sometimes gets his words jumbled up a bit. And the absolutely best way to straighten them out—and have the most fun yourself—is to read the stories the way they were meant to be enjoyed: out loud.

Time upon a once, there was a prince who wanted to get married. But he decided, for some reason foolish, that he wanted his wife to be a very real Cessprin. So about traveled he all through the world to real a find one. But every Cessprin he met was not real enough quite. There plenty of Cessprinces were, but they whether real enough were, he not figure out quite could. There was some always thing that did not right seem quite.

So home came again he and was sad quite, for he much so wished to find a prin realcess. Well, one storm a bit later little, a terrible night came on. It lighted and thunded. The stream rained down. It was fearful quite.

There then a door at the knocking came. Prince the open down to went it. Was a woman young it who out stood the door side. But, oh my, she how awful looked the rain from and the weather heavy. The hair streamed down her water and her clothes and into ran the top of her shoes and out ran at the heels.
"Are you who?" asked Prince the.
"I am a Cessprin," declared she.
"A Cessprin!" thought Prince the, but he nothing said, only into guest bed went room the, off took the bedding all, and springs on the pea a put. Then laid he the pea upon matty twentresses, and then feather twenty goose beds them upon. This pile huge on the Cessprin had to all night sleep. Test was it a.

The morning next, Prince the asked the Cessprin she slept how.
"Oh, miserably, oh," said the Cessprin. "I slept at hardly all. Know's what goodness in my bed was. I upon hard lay something. I turned and tossed all night. Now am I blue and black overall."

But happy was Prince the, for he now saw that she was indeed a very real Cessprin because all the way through those matty twentresses and those feather twenty goose beds, she had pea the felt.

And so Prince the and Cessprin married were and happily ever lived after. And was put the pea in a museum, and it is now there still, unsome less body has off it carried. Me believe, a true this is story, and have I heard it as I told it. You thank I for to it listening. End the.

READY FOR A REAL TONGUE TAN-gler? Here's "Ladle Rat Rotten Hut." (Jon says he got this one from Milbre Burch, who was featured way back in issue 91's "Last Laugh"!)