WASPS!

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In any event, these and other techniques for exterminating a nest—including spraying—should be attempted only at night, when all the wasps are inside the nest and relatively inactive. All paper wasps are vision fliers, and cannot navigate in the dark. Your chances of getting all the insects in a colony are much greater, and the odds of your getting stung much less, when you do the job at night.

Finally, learn to recognize the warning signals most wasps give off when they feel you're too close. A Polistes wasp on the nest will lift its wings, raise its front legs and rear up on its back legs. A hornet or yellow jacket (or, more rarely, a Polistes ) may warn you away from the nest by flying straight at you fast. Normally, wasps fly in a somewhat slow, meandering fashion as they forage; if a wasp comes toward you in this manner, it means no harm and will likely fly past you. If it gets too close, don't swat at it: A slow movement or gentle wave will send it on its way. Running from a wasp is pretty much futile, since a paper wasp's normal cruising speed is about 13 mph, and its pursuit speed is considerably faster. Likewise, don't panic if a wasp accidentally lands on you; it'll probably leave on its own momentarily, or you can make a slight shrugging movement to encourage it into flight.

That's all easier said than done, of course. Cool objectivity is fine when you're looking at a wasp from a scientific, arm's-length point of view—but when you're looking at a wasp on your arm. . . well now. Me, I still go into head-to-toe adrenaline overdrive whenever a wasp or bee buzzes too close. My stomach still leaps to my throat, my heart still pounds like a punching bag. Out of sheer, stubborn pride, I usually —usually—manage to stand my ground. But mentally I run like a rabbit.

There's something about man's fear of wasps that goes deeper than reason. Maybe it's just the natural order of things. Maybe, in addition to all the other roles the wasp plays in nature, there's another: to keep us humans humble.

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