The Plowboy Interview: Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Article Tools

Image Gallery

Print

E-mail

Comments

RSS

In addition, watch your own actions, and—especially—see how consistent you are in your punishment. Children get very confused if one day everything is fine because a parent comes home in a good mood, but the next day they do the same things they did the day before and suddenly get slapped for it. If you come home grouchy from work, try saying, "I've had a terrible day, so you'll probably have to be twice as quiet as usual, but I hope I'm not often like this." The children will learn to adjust to that quickly. And then, if—someday—one of them tells you that he or she is in a bad mood, you should respect the child's feelings, too.

Last, don't go overboard in protecting your children from the hardships of life. If you raise your young ones like plants in a greenhouse, sooner or later, when those plants have to come out into the open, they won't be able to stand the cold. To put it another way—as one of my favorite sayings goes—"Should you shield canyons from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their carvings."

PLOWBOY: Elisabeth, as you've portrayed it, getting rid of one's own negativity sounds like a lot of work.

KÜBLER-ROSS: It is, but if you want to weed your garden, you have to bend. You have to get your hands dirty. Yet, in America, working to promote one's emotional health is a completely neglected concept. Instead, after a person has become seriously disturbed, he or she is given tranquilizers or locked up. That's horrible. What I practice and teach is simply preventive psychiatry ... and we need much more of it. We should have screaming rooms in every hospital, staffed by people who've lost loved ones themselves, so families can have a place to unload their grief after someone dies. Schoolteachers should use the technique of interpreting spontaneous drawings of children as a screening tool to learn, early on, which ones need help.

PLOWBOY: What happens if a person is able to get rid of his or her negativity?

KOBLER-ROSS: As you work on your emotional quadrant—on your unfinished business—your own intuition will grow and bloom, and you will become more and more spiritual. You see, you don't have to go to school or meditate to develop your spirituality. It's been with you since birth, and it just has to evolve. If you can get rid of the weeds that are strangling your ability to get in touch with your intuitive, spiritual self, that part of you will grow naturally.

Look at me. I'm a Swiss hillbilly. I come from a background that's almost opposite to that of a stereotypical Californian. I can't sit still and meditate. I've never been to India or had a guru, yet I've had about every mystical experience there is. And it's important that you know that will come ... that you can see what's in store for you if you weed your garden.

RSS | Comments | E-mail | Print