HOW I ALMOST MADE MILLIONS (AND NEARLY SAVED AMERICA FROM THE DROUGHT)

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"Well, in that case," he went on, "I imagine you're interested in some sort of two-way flush valve for toilets. They're all on file on the second floor, third rack from the elevator. Here's the classification number. If I remember rightly, the first two-way valve was invented around the turn of the century. Now if you have any more questions, or if I can help you in any way, please come back to my office. Perhaps we can have a cup of coffee and talk about your particular application."

I gave the man a bewildered nod . . . thanked him dully . . . staggered from his office . . . found the second floor and the third bank from the elevator. . . and, in a daze, shuffled through a veritable mountain of two-way flush patents. A further search on the computer turned up 30 more designs that were first cousins to my idea. Still in shock, I photostated a half-dozen at random, stuffed them into my (now unchained) briefcase, and stopped to thank the assistant.

As I finished my coffee and rose to leave, the patent aide said, "You know, I've always wondered why the government never did anything with two-way valves . . . especially now, with today's water shortages and expensive waste treatment. Why, if Uncle Sam mandated that all federal buildings and federally financed construction install such devices, we could probably save a billion gallons of water a day . . . maybe even two billion! Well, it was a pleasure meeting you, and if you have any more ideas, you hurry on back, hear?"

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