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AN EPIDEMIOLOGIST'S NIGHTMARE: Scientists investigating the potential effects of Agent Orange have found that some Vietnam veterans are heavily contaminated with up to a dozen chemicals, including PCB and DDT. Although the toxic potential for some of these substances is well known, no one has studied their combined effects. Veterans concerned about Agent Orange can call a toll-free hotline (800 / 424-5402) for information.

WE'VE SAID SO ALL ALONG , but now a University of Tennessee study has concluded that high-voltage transmission lines do cause damage to trees and vegetation and could present biological hazards to humans living near the towers. (Tobacco and tomato plants, as well as hemlock and pine trees, were found to be particularly sensitive to the high-voltage discharge.)

WHY THEY DON'T "DO IT" IN THE RHODE! The Rhode Island Supreme Court has upheld that state's fornication law, ruling that sex between consenting unmarried adults doesn't fall within the people's right to privacy. In another strange decision, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled unanimously that a person who aids and abets in a federal crime can be prosecuted, even after the principal suspect has been acquitted of charges.

AN INSULATION DISASTER: After many families became ill as a result of the urea formaldehyde insulation in their homes, the state of Massachusetts ruled that manufacturers must pay to remove the urea foam (which, aside from being toxic, may also be a cancer-causing agent) from any dwelling where a physician has found that the material presents a health hazard. Since removal costs are estimated at approximately $20,000 a house, the ruling could bankrupt some large foam manufacturers . . . and thousands of small contractors, as well.

SYNCHRONIZE YOUR WATCHES! Intersonics Corporation has taken out a patent on a woman's wristwatch that gauges "pregnancy potential" by measuring the negative-positive polarity of the currents flowing through the body .... The U.S. Department of Agriculture has worked out a way to make noninstant BROWN RICE THAT COOKS IN 15 MINUTES, and has made the process available to private enterprise without charge .... The public drinking water in 200 New England communities contains up to 30 TIMES THE SAFE LEVEL OF TETRACHLOROETHYLENE (TCE), a result—apparently—of the solvent used to apply a plastic coating to water mains installed since 1968 . . . . SAFETY FEATURES FOR CHAIN SAWS—such as guards, chain brakes, and designs that prevent binding and kickback from occurring—have been ordered by the government, and will add about $30 to the retail cost of saws.

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