The Fine Art of Trash-Mongering

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Children, I came to realize through yesterday's small expedition, are those who stand to gain the most from waste. Adventure, first of all, if they're in on the work. And then, while only two or three percent of dump stuff holds any interest for us jaded adults, kids can find a use for a much broader range of junk.

I've found brand new toys almost every time I've gone to a dump. The purchase of toys, apparently, is something to which parents easily become addicted, for lots of expensive playthings reach the trash heaps untouched by little hands. At least to me this seems to indicate that many parents are out to buy affection from their kids or to substitute gadgets for the love they couldn't give. In any case, the landfills are especially rich in toys, very often including the most lavish and fancy kind.

So much for the merely material rewards of scavenging. Profounder benefits await those who wander down the golden path of trash. The stuff Americans discard can tell us more about the society in which we live than a hundred social science courses. A wonderment that constantly recurs is why so many people seem incapable of finding anyone to whom they might donate the useful things of which they have grown tired. Who knows? In any case, the inventory in your better class of dumps is oftentimes beyond belief. Reactions on the part of tenderfoot pickers vary from hysterical laughter to vile cursing, from tears of rage to prayer.

And finally, the spiritual rewards: Trashmongering imparts a deep understanding of why Solomon, in all his glory and with all his money could never quite match the wardrobe of the liliies of the field. The Lord helps those, they say, who help themselves.

So do it. The cans and dumps are kind to those with the keen eyes and sharpened instincts of the experienced scavenger. He can clothe himself and his family, furnish and decorate his home, stock his library, bestow lavish gifts upon his loved ones, all for free. And in the process he can conquer false pride, widen his horizons, and get a lot of healthy outdoor exercise to boot.

Happy shopping, non-customers.

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