HOTHOUSE SHANTY

(Page 2 of 2)

February/March 2000
By Joe Novara 
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Angry footsteps scrunched across the ice.

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"I saw that!' Mudge announced, yanking the door open. Goose bumps ran up and down my naked limbs.

"Wait and see." I backpedaled. "I'll be a different person this winter - a little sunshine, a little fishing."

"That's not why I bought this greenhouse, Ernold," Mudge persisted. "I need to get my dame's rocket on its way, not to mention my Dolichos lablab and Gomphrena globosa ."

In case you're wondering, that's how I got around to hanging the vertical blinds. A man needs some privacy when he's fishing. I mean, what's the good of getting out of the house if you're going to leave yourself open to constant scrutiny? Defeats the purpose. Finally, after some negotiating around watering, thinning sprouts and harvesting vermi-compost. I was able to hang the blinds on the side facing the house.


A couple of Saturdays later, following an especially warm and sunny week, I slogged through ankle deep slush to my shanty/nursery, looking forward to a morning of sun and surf. As I got closer, I paused, not sure of what I was seeing. Worms floating in space?

Inside, icy water threatened to swamp my boot tops. A jumbo perch swam around with his mouth open, gobbling up red worms as they floated above their box. A chunky sunfish brunched on our vermi-composters. My shanty had become an aquarium, a scaled-down Sea World. How could this have happened? Is this what they mean by the greenhouse effect? What would I tell Mudge? After a moment's thought, I did the only sensible thing I could do. I grabbed my fishing net and a camera.

Back at Grotty's, I nonchalantly passed around a photo of 32 monster sunfish and seven perch resting in a bed of fresh snow

Awestruck, Clutch asked, "What's your secret?"

"Peas," I replied to the suddenly quiet crowd in the tavern.

"Canned or frozen?" Clutch asked

"I prefer canned, but frozen works, too."

"And?" Clutch gestured anxiously.

"Well, I put three or four around the ice hole..."

"Yeah?"

"...and when a fish comes up to take a pea, I grab him."

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