DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT

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last laugh

Don't talk back. Keep the woodbox filled. And don't stake the cow where she can get to wild onions. — Malcolm Buie Seawell

Well sir, I'm sure you recall how badly the Plumtree Crossing Rail Riders of America got basted by the upper crust of Boston (last issue). So you won't be surprised to hear that the fellas got out of that town but fast.

"Boys," Ott Bartlett said as their train left, "I'm as low as fleas at a funeral."

"I believe I got something to cheer you up," Purvis Jacobs replied. He reached deep into his tow sack, felt around a bit and pulled out — a whole pile of letters! "You remember how we asked folks to mail us jokes awhile back? Well, lots of 'em have!"

Those jokes turned out to be the perfect tonic. They reminded the boys of all those days in the Plumtree Crossing General Store, 'downing Nehi sodas, munching on Moon Pies and swapping yarns. So the fellas asked that I relate some of 'em here.

Richard Rinz of Bruce Crossing, Michigan, shared a little fall nature lore. "Do you know why one side of a V of migrating geese is usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side!" Richard once met an old Indian who predicted that the coming winter was going to be a long, cold one. How'd he know? "All the white men have big woodpiles."

Donna Swanso wrote from Portsmouth, Virginia: "My grandfather was driving cows across the road when a man in a big car came barreling around the turn. The fender caught Grandpa's pants leg and dragged him 75 feet before the man was able to stop. The fellow then got out of his car, real nervous like, and asked Grandpa if he was all right.

"Grandpa stood up, brushed off his clothes and said he felt fine. The man said, 'You sure? Can I give you a ride someplace?' Grandpa eyed the fellow and said, 'No, I've ridden far enough with you already.' "

John Rishling of Rolla, North Dakota, asked the boys, "You know what you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef." And Joyce Mason of Westminster, California, asked, "What do you call a cow that's had a miscarriage? Decalfinated."

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