What The Dealer Doesn't Tell You

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The request was followed by a tail of woe. Her ex had pulled all the wires off the distributor cap, etc., on her new Fiat. Would I please see what I could do to repair it? An hour and a half later it ran out the door in one piece. Before she left I said, "If he decides to beat up your car again, we may have to take more drastic action." I thought I was kidding.

Well, about six weeks later it was back. He had done it again. This time the whole wiring harness under the hood was ruined. It wasn't that much fun to fix, and I was getting cranky about it. I ordered a used one from a local yard and the bill paid by her insurance was in excess of three hundred dollars.

When she picked it up she wanted to know what action I suggested. I walked to the back wall and picked up a half box of Bonami Cleanser. I handed it to her and said, "Now just do as I say and nothing else. Go find his pickup truck and set this on the hood ...then walk away." Confused but willing, she motored out of the lot.

I happened to know that this guy knew his way around a car, and I also knew the expression of stark raving terror that would be on his face when he saw that calling card on his hood. If someone had actually put that cleanser down the throat of his carburetor, as is the habit of mechanics who seek the ultimate in revenge, it would have wiped out his entire engine.

Another six weeks went by and suddenly the woman appeared with a perfect lemon meringue pie for us at lunchtime. Her ex had the message down pat.

Thus endeth the lesson.

If your car or truck is getting you down and you need some practical answers fast, write Jon at Mother's Mechanic, c/o Mother Earth News, P.O. Box 129, Arden, NC, or via E-mail at MEarthNews@aol.com. Don't forget to send a photo.

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