The Pantyhose Comforter

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If you're female and have an office job, chances are you go through several pairs of pantyhose a week. A friend of mine (who works in a travel agency and earns a rather small salary) calculated that she works two days a month to pay for her hose. That figures out to 24 days a year—or about one work-month—wasted on the flimsy legwear!

It does, of course, seem a bit ridiculous to put that much labor into a nylon supply. There are ways to fight back, though. You could, for instance, go barelegged, wear pants, wear runny hose under boots and/or pants ... or take a pair with a left run and a pair with a right run, cut off the offending leg of each, and then put both pairs on. (Who's to know?)

Many of these solutions, however, only forestall the inevitable. Sooner or later, you'll pull on your pantyhose, and they'll do what they were designed to do: branch out into rivers, streams, rivulets, and rills of runs . . . and render themselves useless. Worse yet, these "longstockings" are about as biodegradable as plastic bags!

"They've just got to be good for something!" I used to wail, while gnashing my teeth over the waste.

I finally came up with an idea, though, and it's pretty good, if I do say so myself: Why not make a comforter out of them? After all, nylons are lightweight, easily cleaned, and they dry quickly without packing down. (I've found that hose can be used to stuff children's toys, too.)
So, round up your dead nylons and (of course) wash them. When the stockings are clean, cut off the elastic waistbands. (I can't think of any use for these, unless you're ranching tomatoes, in which case you now have lots of nice, soft, vine tie-ups.)

Then drag out your scrap fabric and reduce it all to four-inch quilt patches. The number of squares you'll need will depend on how big the bed you plan to cover is. Just figure that a 4-inch quilt square includes a 5/8-inch seam. allowance, which will give you a finished piece with 2-3/4" to a side. So, you'll need however many squares your bed is long by however many squares your bed is wide, times two. (The "times two" is because your comforter has a top and a bottom.)

To begin the coverlet, take two matching quilt pieces (or unmatching, if you prefer), and sew around the edges, leaving a 5/8" seam and an opening on one side to stuff in a pair of pantyhose.

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